Our friend in Australia has something to say about being "woke". Here he goes..."WOKE": A BUZZWORD FOR DICKHEADS WHO RAN OUT OF ARGUMENTS
Right, let's talk about the word "woke", the favorite fucking weapon of every brain-dead culture warrior who can't form an actual argument to save their miserable life.
You know how you can tell someone's a complete fucking moron? They use "woke" as an insult. It's become the intellectual equivalent of just shitting your pants and declaring victory. Can't argue the actual point? Just yell "that's woke!" and waddle away like you've accomplished something.
Let me give you the history of this word, because these dickheads don't even know what they're saying half the time.
"Woke" started in Black American communities decades ago. It meant being aware, staying woke to racism, to injustice, to the systems designed to keep people down. It was about consciousness, about not being asleep to what's really happening in the world. Pretty reasonable shit, yeah?
But then white people discovered it, and like everything else we touch, we fucked it up completely.
Now "woke" means… what exactly? Depends which frothing dickhead you ask.
Teaching actual history in schools? WOKE!
Acknowledging climate change exists? WOKE!
Thinking maybe women should have rights over their own bodies? WOKE!
Suggesting we don't need seventeen guns per person? WOKE!
Not being a cunt to gay people? WOKE!
Putting a Black person in a movie? WOKE!
Teaching kids that slavery happened and was bad? WOKE!
It's become a fucking catch-all for anything that makes me slightly uncomfortable or challenges my worldview in the tiniest possible way.
You've got politicians ranting about "woke ideology" like it's some organized conspiracy. Mate, there's no secret woke headquarters. There's no Woke Pope issuing woke decrees. It's just people asking to be treated like fucking human beings and not wanting their kids taught lies about history.
Ron DeSantis in Florida, perfect example. This dickhead's fighting a war against "woke" by banning books, censoring teachers, rewriting history curriculums to make slavery sound like a fucking vocational training program. "Actually, slaves learned valuable skills!" Get absolutely fucked. That's not anti-woke, that's pro-stupid.
And the books they're banning? Not pornography. Not dangerous material. Books about Ruby Bridges, the six-year-old who integrated schools. Books about the Holocaust. Books with gay characters who have the audacity to just exist.
Apparently teaching kids that gay people are real is "woke indoctrination". But teaching them that God created the Earth 6,000 years ago and dinosaurs are a liberal hoax? That's just "parents' rights". Fuck off.
Here's what really pisses me off, these cunts use "woke" to avoid engaging with actual arguments.
"Maybe we should address systemic racism in policing."
"That's woke!"
"Okay, but what about these statistics showing"
"WOKE WOKE WOKE!"
It's intellectual fucking bankruptcy. They can't argue the merits, so they just slap a label on it and declare themselves the winner. It's what people do when they've got no actual counter-argument but their feelings are hurt.
And corporations, don't even get me started on corporations using "woke" as a marketing strategy, then conservatives losing their shit about it.
Bud Light put a trans person in an ad and you'd think they'd declared war on masculinity itself. Grown men filming themselves shooting beer cans, destroying cases of Bud Light they'd already paid for. Really showed them, didn't you? Anheuser-Busch is crying all the way to the bank while you're drinking Coors and pretending you won something.
M&Ms made their cartoon candy mascots less sexy. WOKE! Mate, if you were sexually attracted to the green M&M, the problem isn't woke culture, it's that you need therapy.
Disney has characters who aren't white and straight. WOKE! Yeah, because the real world only has white straight people, right? Representation equals woke propaganda apparently. Meanwhile, every movie for decades had all-white casts and nobody called that propaganda. Funny how that works.
The Australian version is just as cooked. We've got dickheads ranting about "woke ABC" because the national broadcaster has the audacity to report facts they don't like. Climate change is real? WOKE! Indigenous people deserve recognition? WOKE! Fact-checking politicians' lies? WOKE!
Pauline Hanson loves this shit. She's made a career out of it. Everything's woke. Immigration policy based on actual economics instead of racism? WOKE! Teaching Indigenous history? WOKE! Not being a xenophobic nightmare? WOKE!
Here's the thing these cunts don't understand, calling something "woke" isn't an argument. It's just you admitting you can't engage with the actual issue.
"Woke" has become a thought-terminating cliché. It stops you from having to think. It's a shield against reality. It's what you say when you want to oppose something but you're too fucking lazy or stupid to articulate why.
And the beautiful irony? The people screaming about "woke" are the most sensitive fucking snowflakes on the planet.
They'll cry about "cancel culture" while trying to cancel anything that disagrees with them. They'll scream about "freedom of speech" while banning books and censoring teachers. They'll whine about being "silenced" on their massive media platforms watched by millions.
You're not being silenced, you're just being criticized. And you can't handle it.
Some trans kid wants to use the bathroom in peace? These dickheads lose their fucking minds, form committees, pass laws, make it a national emergency. But try to regulate guns after another school shooting? "Don't politicize this tragedy!"
Apparently dead kids are less important than making sure trans kids suffer.
Climate change? "Woke alarmism!" Never mind the scientists, never mind the data, never mind that the fucking planet is on fire. Exxon knew about climate change in the 1970s and buried it, but sure, teenage activists are the problem.
Want to know what "woke" actually means now? It means "I don't like this but I'm too intellectually lazy to explain why, so I'll just use this magic word that makes my fellow dickheads nod in agreement."
It's a tribal signal. It's a way to identify your team without having to think. It's the equivalent of a secret handshake for morons.
And the grift, oh, the grift is beautiful. You've got an entire ecosystem of right-wing grifters making millions by screaming about woke this and woke that. They don't believe half the shit they're saying, they're just selling outrage to idiots who'll buy anything that confirms their biases.
Jordan Peterson made a fortune crying about pronouns. Matt Walsh pretends not to know what a woman is. Ben Shapiro speed-talks his way through bad arguments and declares victory. They're not intellectuals, they're performers. And "woke" is their favorite prop.
Here's what "woke" used to mean, being aware of injustice.
Here's what it means now, anything that challenges my prejudices or makes me feel slightly uncomfortable.
You want to know if something's actually "woke" in the way these dickheads mean it? Ask yourself, does it make the world slightly more fair? Does it challenge power structures? Does it ask people to think critically?
If yes, they'll call it woke and lose their fucking minds.
Teaching accurate history instead of propaganda? They'll call it woke.
Acknowledging that racism didn't end in 1965? Woke.
Suggesting that maybe billionaires should pay taxes? Woke.
Thinking healthcare is a human right? Woke.
Not wanting the planet to be uninhabitable? Woke.
Basically, "woke" now means "thing that requires me to give a shit about someone who isn't me". And that's apparently too much to ask.
The funniest part? These are the same cunts who'll tell you to "stop being so sensitive" and "facts don't care about your feelings", right before they have a complete meltdown because a mermaid is Black or a beer can has a trans person on it.
THEIR feelings matter. YOUR feelings are you being woke.
So next time someone calls something "woke" as an argument, you know exactly what they're telling you, I've got no actual argument, I'm intellectually lazy, and I'd rather use a buzzword than engage my brain.
And you can safely ignore every fucking word that comes out of their mouth after that.
Because "woke" isn't an argument. It's a surrender. It's what you say when you've already lost but you're too proud to admit it.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to do something extremely woke, like reading a book, or believing in science, or treating people with basic fucking dignity.
The horror.