Stigmata @ 6

There have been numerous times when I've been traumatized by being raised a catholic. The first time and probably the most intense was in first grade as we were being prepared for the sacrament of communion. Of course as part of that we were also indoctrinated into the whole concept of confession and penance before we could partake of the body and blood of christ. But first we needed to be afraid. Very afraid.

The nuns accomplished this with lots of corporal punishment. We had to learn how to take holy communion and they really didn't want any little six year old playing with the host or spitting it out during the ceremony. 

So they told us a story about an older man in the neighborhood who was making his first communion many years ago as a six year old just like us. When he received the host on that day he wanted to see the host and he let it drop out of his mouth and on to the palm of his hand. The host then burned a stigmata into his hand that was a circle with a cross in the middle just like the host. He got branded by the body of christ and for the rest of his life he had that stigmata scar on the palm of his hand.

The nun then said that if any of us in that class were to touch the host in any way other than to let the priest place it on our tongues then we would get a stigmata too. Now the nuns and priest spent a lot of time telling us about being pure, not sinning and praying all the time. At some point I started to worry that if I didn't pray enough, if I made a sin or I did something jesus didn't like then his body would burn my mouth the next time I got communion. When saying my nightly prayers before going to bed I would always think about getting a stigmata. I would also worry about running into that old man with the burned palms somewhere in the neighborhood.

Many years later long after I stopped being a catholic I was somewhat amused when suddenly it became OK to take the host in your hands and put it in your mouth yourself. What happened to that stigmata? They change the rules? Was it ok now to spit it out too?

Being a catholic didn't last through my teenage years. Eleven years of catholic school saw to that. I also vowed that my children would never attend a catholic school either but for a lot of reasons beyond this stigmata story.